DouceLifeAt50.com

…Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.”… Pema Chodron  (excerpt from her book: When Things Fall Apart)

I am busy working in my yard and gearing up to clean my house. Since I am on a self discovery journey this year I decided to multitask and listen to videos on YouTube about enlightenment, there are so many wonderful speakers out there. Listening while working makes me feel as if I am really progressing in all aspect of my life including having a cleaner house and nicer looking garden.  I have come a long way in the past year, reflecting back I realize that I had detached myself from my house and garden while I was very busy improving my body by working out, I gave it a hundred percent, those workouts gave me confidence, lifted my brain fog and helped me create my outer and inner strength. A few months after I started working out my inner self popped out and kept telling me to be brave and do what I really knew I wanted to do, which was write. Of course I procrastinated by creating all kinds of excuses like reading more books, watching more how to videos, or waiting for inspiration. After reading “The War on Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle” by Steven Pressfield  I had to look at myself and say if not now, never. So I picked up my mouse and keyboard and googled how to start a blog. I am not very comfortable around computers but I managed to create my blog, it took me many hours to do very simple things but I wanted to learn and do it my way. A few weeks ago, Google made a safety change that caused me to spend many evenings researching how to prove that indeed my blog is a safe website and that WordPress had already updated it to https from http, once I let myself relax and finally found the right article with the right language for me, it just happened. My daughter was startled when I threw up my arms and yelled “alleluia I did it.” I discovered that I have more patience than a well fed tiger. I truly felt like I had won a major battle, I had silenced the inner voice which was trying to say maybe you won’t be able to do it, give it up, ask for help. I was determined to practice the lessons I had learned on believing in myself, on putting my mind to it and not giving up. Efforts go hand in hand with satisfaction.

When I started my blog I had promised my sister and one of my brothers that I would translate my blog into French so that my mom and youngest brother, one of my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law would be able to read it. My dad would have been very supportive too, I hope he can feel the vibrations coming from my essays as he sees me coming into myself more and more. I have spent more decades speaking English then French so I am more comfortable writing in English but my new self decided that I could do it, it would not be perfect but as long as I could keep the “feeling” of each essay it would do, that I needed the practice anyway. I am happy to report that I have kept my promise and am in the process of translating all of my essays, several are done and published.  As I started writing this one I thought here I go again, hope this essay will not be too hard to translate. Thank goodness my brain is very elastic, I was surprised not to get a major headache from honing skills I have not used in years, some idioms cannot be translated so I am rediscovering my own language and enjoying it.

After winning my computer battle I decided I should give meditation a try. Meditation is recommended for people who want to really connect and listened to what their inner voice is telling them. I am supposed to do this every day for fifteen to twenty minutes. So I started looking into what kind of meditations are available on YouTube, I settled on the guided ones, as a meditation novice it is the one that works for me. Listening to a soothing voice while you breath keeps my mind from going back to what is going on in my life. I am happy to report that after doing it for over a week I look forward to getting up and start my day with my guided meditation. If I have negative thoughts turning in my mind while I get ready, it does wonders. I love leaving the house with joy in my heart and a smile on my face, I am then able to put my happy bubble around me as I drive which in turns makes for a relaxing trip to work. It makes for a mindful day!

I noticed a few weeks ago that the grass in my yard seemed so much greener than last year, I know my eyes are not playing tricks on me but I feel that because I am appreciating and connecting with what I have a lot more than I used to everything feels so much more alive including myself. A year of growth can bring so much happiness and gratitude. May you feel connected to your own life. Enjoy learning or doing something you have not done before, have a great week!

“The best thing for being sad, replied Merlin, is to learn something.”  T. H. White