DouceLifeAt50.com

In the last several weeks had been feeling  discouraged as I looked at the mountain of work needing to be done in the yard.  More than one person could handle, especially me.   As I pulled weed after weed, I thought: “I really need to hire someone to help me.”   There was a stack of business cards in the garage that people who were offering their services had dropped in my mailbox but I had not called anyone.  I did not know where to start.

The sunshine turned to rain, which was needed the ground being dry, my house needing attention I put my focus on it.  While taking care of the dishes I was listening to an interview of a woman who had found a way to open her life to new opportunities or experiences.  It sounded easy, the idea of clearing the clutter that is hidden from my eyes in order to improve my live was something I could do. Going through one drawer, one box or one closet at a time was all I needed to hear to get started.  Clutter affects the energy of our homes thus affects our wellbeing. I had no idea what thoughts or things were holding me back but I felt the need to change the status quo. Maybe clearing the hidden clutter was the answer. I thought it was worth a shot.  I had already removed a lot of things that had been cluttering the house but I knew there were items I hang onto because of perceived sentimental values and others that I had been unmotivated to deal with because they were out of site. I decided to start with the office, it had become the dumping ground for paid bills, computer items, things that need to be put away but instead were just dropped there to deal with later.  The pile of papers that needed shredding had been growing for several months. So armed with resolve, my good headset and a podcast, I sat in the office chair and started shredding the pile. It took me several days to shred all the papers as my little shredder would stop as it overheated, I am well aware that there are places that will shred your papers for a fee, the thought came to me as I looked at the amount of shredded paper that I was cramming in huge bags but it was raining outside and I was enjoying my podcasts and the feeling of getting something done.  While my shredder cooled down I started going through my files and binders to see what else I could either shred or recycle. I found some papers I thought we had lost during our move almost 7 years ago. As I was filing I heard a knock at the front door. I opened it, a man stood there, he asked me if I needed help around the house. I thought: “alleluia here is the answer to my prayer for help, amen to that.” I took the business card he handed me and said: “Let me get my shoes on and I will show you what needs to be done.” I took him around the yard, I showed him the broken lilacs, the fallen branches, the pruning, raking, weeding, everything that needed to be done he said: “I’ll bring some help, we should be able to finish it in a day.”  They did. Four of them came on Saturday, the weather cooperated. While they worked in the yard I worked inside, they turned my yard around. Now everytime I look outside I see a well tended garden, it has become manageable, I feel grateful for all their work.

After the success of my office experience I decided it was time to deal with the sentimental items that had escaped my first purge.  I have been hanging on to several watches that I hadn’t worn in years and that I don’t see myself wearing anytime soon but have kept anyway because they were gifts.  Like my gold watch that I received for my 30th birthday, I had worn it often for many years. It was time to let go. I put it on the pile with the items going to the thrift store, it was hard to let go but once my mind was made up, as predicted by the podcast, I felt a sense of relief.  I had a new spring in my step as I tackled the crystal, cups and other items that were discarded on the top shelves of the cupboards, all nice things that needed someone who would appreciate and use them. As I wrapped those items I felt a sense of joy bubble in me, I felt lighter and freer.  As I gathered the items for recycling, dumping and donating I realized that I had been hanging on to the past and it had been holding me back. As my space clears up so does the vision I have of myself. I can let go of items easily now, things are just things no matter who gave them to me. I expect others to let go of what I have given them.  A gift is just that, something you give to a person to do with as they please or wish. Storing them in a closet, garage or storage unit so that they are not in the way is not treating them with respect, it shows guilt not sentimentality over letting go of the object because of its provenance or its cost. Storing things only delays the inevitable, sooner or later we will all have to deal with our clutter, choices or problems.  Life needs space to grow.

A cleaner slate has allowed me to turn the page towards future possibilities and to appreciate who I am and what I have much more.  I look at things with different eyes and new feelings, it has become easy to say no to things that would only clutter my space and my life.  I am grateful for that.