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“The more you think you need to fix something, the less you need to do it. They are the evidence of something you want to let go of.”  Abraham Hicks

This quote I heard earlier today came at a point where I was ready to hear it.   I have been bogged down by some feelings that I would describe as frustration and aggravation.  It is affecting how I feel while I go about my daily activities. I have been allowing these feelings to bog me down, to distract me and to convince myself that there was no inspiration to be had.  I turned my lack of creativity towards chores, I have worked in the yard, pressure washed the deck and the dried moss off the patio, I tackled the two boxes of electronics in the office and found more files that needed to be shredded.  Instead of berating myself about my lack of interest in writing an essay thus causing more frustration into my soul I have decided to just let it go. I have chosen to use that time to make my way through items on my to do list. I call this June refresh.  

As I got through those chores I felt my frustration ebb little by little.  The progress I have made around me made me realize that I needed to not focus on what was bothering me but to take stock of all the things that are working well in my life.  Not all the choices and decisions I have made have been right but the ones that matter the most to me have been. Each day is a new beginning, each day I am given a new chance to live it the way I choose to.  

Working and organizing are easier than cleaning up my internal feelings.  As I accepted the fact that I had relapsed into some of my old thinking patterns I reminded myself that this is something I need to get used to, that I am a work in progress.  There will always be triggers that bring bad habits up to the surface again but at least now I am aware of them and don’t allow them to take over my thoughts and my life for very long.

Outside the spring flowers have gone, I am surrounded by thick green foliage everywhere I look.  There are very few flowers blooming at this time in my yard, their pinks are a nice contrast against the heavy green.   The feelings of frustration and aggravation are uncomfortable but like the flowers they too are the contrast needed in my life.  That contrast allows me to appreciate how far I have come on my journey. As I go on with my June refresh I am grateful that I am getting much better at letting go off what holds me back.