As January got on the way I heard that most New Year’s resolutions don’t make it past January 19th. I am way ahead of the game as it is the middle of the month and I am just getting around to deciding what is important to me and what I want to accomplish this year. My resolutions and goals have not been made on New Year’s Day in a long time, they start and stretch throughout the year and often end up on the to do list of the following year.
I am a fan of Marie Forleo and Mel Robbins. I watched Marie’s “Decade in Review” and I agree that it is important to let go of things that do not serve us. Not that many years ago I lived and focused mostly on the past or the future. Talking about the past it is the same as reliving it. I much prefer to live in the present now. There is a French saying that I love: “Avec des si, on mettrait Paris en bouteille” my rough translation: “with ifs we could put Paris in a bottle”. It has two meanings, the first one is “with speculations anything is possible,” the second meaning, which is the one I always thought off growing up, is: “speculations without foundations remain vain or impossible.”
As I thought back about the last decade and made mental notes, my page of accomplishments seemed pretty anemic. But I have learned to stop myself from thinking of “ifs: Comparing myself to other people doesn’t help me become a better person, it only makes me doubt myself and robs me of precious time. Instead of going down the old path, I practiced redirecting my thoughts towards the growth and improvements I have made as a person. One of the things that has improved my life is last year’s goal of noticing when I judged myself and others. It proved to be a good exercise as I ended up feeling lighter of spirit, more accepting and as kind towards myself as I was towards others. I choose my words carefully when I talk or think about myself, it has become much easier to view what I perceive as my faults or defects as quirks or things I can easily change or improve. Water sliding over a duck’s feathers is a mental picture I often used, that picture allowed me to shake any negative thoughts or reactions that came from me or others that could lead to anger or defeat me. We often overreact or over think when others respond to us in a different or unexpected way. We can’t change how they say things or how they do things but we can choose how we respond to them or the situation, it is all in how we perceive it. There is great freedom to be gained by letting things go, it is easier to be kind than right.
I have joined Mel Robbins’ free “Best decade ever” program to help me focus and follow through on some of my dreams and goals. I do want to accomplish what I have set out to do for this year. There is a science to getting things done. Our brains need specific plans. We often lose heart and stop because we feel overwhelmed by the size of what it will take to accomplish our tasks or to follow through with our resolutions. Our brains don’t know where to start unless we have specific details and start small. As Mel Robbins teaches, “dreams are built one brick at a time, one step at a time. Little things add up. Steady, small progress will create the right momentum to help you stick to your goals or resolutions.”
I am looking forward to creating fun and simple steps that I can actually follow through.
DouceLifeAt50.com 
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