DouceLifeAt50.com

Oh what to wear? That is always the question. I have a very limited wardrobe, I confess it’s entirely my fault. I do not enjoy shopping unless I really have to. When we went on our cruise a few years ago I pretty much had nothing to wear. I went shopping a couple of times and was totally discouraged by the experience. I have always been very critical of my body, I had gained a lot of weight so that did not help the whole shopping experience. I felt fat and invisible. Two days prior to the cruise I had a small tantrum while rummaging through my wardrobe, my husband ordered both my girls to take me shopping and to bring him back some nice shorts and a new pair of shoes since neither girls liked his “American dad” wardrobe either (white tennis shoes, baggy shorts with lots of pockets, you can check memes on the internet). Lucky for us our oldest daughter has a knack to find the right “in clothes or styles” I would never think of trying on but they usually fit my body and personality. After listening to my woes about not seeing anything that I liked she ordered me to the dressing room to await the clothes that she picked for me to try on, my youngest daughter was the runner.  It was the best shopping experience ever, I loved having my own personal shopper. Bonus she drove me to the mall and back and found clothes and a pair of shoes for her dad. We both enjoyed sporting our new “look”.

I do keep my clothes for a long time, I’ve changed sizes a few times, some of the clothes I really loved I had not been able to wear for a long time. Through working out I’ve managed to get a waist, slowly I’ve whittled down some of the fat that I was hiding under. In the past year I’ve learned to appreciate what I can accomplish, I am kinder to myself. My sister-in-law taught me to think of what I call my critical areas as my curves. I like what I have become, I could use to lose another 15 to 20 lbs but I as soon as I have a negative thought about my body I work on changing it to appreciating my good health, joy and my curves. I am more comfortable with myself then I have ever been, I can now experience much more freedom from my own judgement.  

With the warm weather I’ve been going through my closet and coming up empty handed. My brain is rebelling against the choices available. As I embark on a new future and a new direction, I’ve mercilessly started putting what I call my “mama persona” clothes into a donation bag.  I feel as if I am breaking out of my internal and external chrysalid. I need clothes that better represent the new self-improved me. Time to make a phone call and beg for my personal shopper to take me shopping. We are going on a trip this summer and I have nothing to wear. Looking forward to spending time with my girls and getting a makeover!